For the first time that I can remember I did not go to any special services for Lent. Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and the rest of the seemingly "traditional" days of Lent are only held in Catholic Churches in my community. Most of the people in my community had no idea what I was talking about when I inquired about these days. At first I was dumbfounded, thinking that all Christians practice these traditions, but I was clearly wrong. This year I had a traditional Sabah Easter, which was seemingly just another Sunday- for I think that the people I am with treat every day as a precious gift from God.
Maundy Thursday, another unheard of day in the Christian church I am a part of here, brought on discussions for Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I was told that all chuch members fast on Good Friday and then attend church at 3 pm. When I was first told this I basically shrugged it off; I've never tried fasting before. Then it was brought up again, and instead of shrugging it off, I asked why. The answer came in quick Malay but I was able to catch 40 days and 40 nights and I realized it was this congregations attempt to try to understand some of the suffering that Jesus went though for us (something I quickly forgot with the other abundance of thoughts present in my mind at the time).
I went to bed self conconcious of an already grumbling tummy, not knowing when, according to these fasting rules, I could eat again.
I woke to a house full of people and children, family members from the Kampung (village) who have come to stay for this Easter weekend. Immediatly I caught a wiff of chicken with fried noodles frying in the kitchen and I quickly closed the door and covered my head with a pillow. This was going to be harder than I thought!
I made it through the morning after three cups of green tea and a desire to move upstairs by the time they started cooking lunch. I spent my late morning/early afternoon cleaning my room, folding and putting away clothes, washing some clothes, showering and basically whatever I could do to keep my mind off of food.
(For those of you who don't know, I used to have to eat every three hours to function properly, and eating is probably my favorite hobby)
I think I actually did pretty well. After removing myself from temptations I found that my stomach didn't rumble and it was rather okay.
In the afternoon I was checking my home congregations facebook page for their lent devotion and ended up chatting with an old friend. It was at that time that I realized I was going about this fasting thing all wrong.
I decided to do this only because I was told all the people at my church are doing it
I am selfish and often think about how much I love food and so I kept thinking of the food I was missing out on.
It took me this long to figure out these things and than remember of the REAL purpose of fasting
I shook my head at myself at my seemingly elementary mistake. As children how many times are we are always told by our parents, "Don't just _______ because everyone else is." This is where God's wonderful grace comes into play. We may make mistakes over and over again, do things without thinking about why we do them and fall short time and time again, but God forgives. In fact, God loves us SO MUCH that he sent his only son to perish so that our sins would be forgiven and that we may have eternal life.
This Lent I was especialy thankful for the time to remeber the sacrifice that God made for all people, but also for the challange of being able to explain some of my religious practices. I am learning to ask myself the question 'why?' a lot this year; maybe this is God's attempt to make me a stronger person.
spelling bee
teammates
