This morning I joined my family in church as I shared with my congregation an idea of what my year of service might look like. My mother was in Waconia with my grandmother, who is doing better, but has been staying at the hospital until they feel she is ready to go home. It has been such a blessing to hear that she has been sitting up and smiling and laughing with my aunts and uncles. Sometimes things in life can scare us, but sometimes I think they also awaken out hearts and help us to realize how much we love and appreciate those around us.

I have to admit that I practiced what I would say as I drove to church by myself this morning. Naturally, almost nothing that I practiced was actually said. Afterward we had a coffee hour that aided in my fund-raising efforts. When I arrived home I was called over to a neighbors when I was asked, "are you the one we heard about in church?" I had also sent a letter to the Lutheran church in my home town, and was so excited to hear that the conversation does not just end in my congregation, but extends to my town and really everyone that I know.

 Today I found myself confronted with a lot of questions that I didn't know the answers to. At first I felt a little embarrassed, but then I realized that I prefer not knowing all the answers. Having preconceived ideas of how things are "supposed to be" can sometimes hinder the beauty of discovery. With that, I intend on keeping my heart and mind open to the possibilities of what is to come. I was so blessed to enjoy the company and conversation of people who have helped to build my faith and support me as I grew up.

Today also allowed for some time of reflection on my journey thus far. I know that my church has laid such a solid foundation to my faith and who I am today, but that's not something that we often consider. I thought back to all the things of the church that I loved being a part of, church choir with my wonderful music teacher from high school, youth board, the Lutheran Youth Organization, Sunday School, and mission trips. I loved being a part of these things and they left me curious and passionate to pursue more. My senior year I went on a mission trip to Bolivia, South America, to help build a radio and television station. That was my first time out of the United States. Now, living in rural Minnesota, diversity is not a big part of our lives, so it was an eye opening experience for me. Three years later, as I ended my junior year of college, I went on a May Seminar through Concordia College to take a class called "World Christianity". We traveled to Amsterdam, London, and South Africa. Spending most of out time in South Africa, I was overwhelmed by the differences in financial wealth. I had never seen such wealth next to such extreme poverty. We walked through informal settlements and most memorable to we was the school that we stopped at. It was located in the settlement and was filled with beautiful smiling children who sang for us and loved the gift of bubbles we brought with. But, this school only allowed children whose parents' paid to send them there to attend, as we left, they picked out the children who snuck in with us, back out of their gated school. It hurt my heart to know that these children could only watch from afar, but not participate. This lit a fire in my heart to learn more about the world, to see more, and to serve more.

Now, here I am preparing to take a leap of faith to go to a new place to love on and learn alongside children. Yes, I will be teaching, but I expect it to be so much more than that.

I GOT MY PLACEMENT!

I found out yesturday morning but have taken the time to process what this placement really means.  The moment that I received my email for my placement I found myself smiling ear to ear with my heart racing! The idea of living somewhere so new and so far away still seems far off in the distance, but is now more real, as a concrete plan seems to be taking shape. :)

I have a round about idea of what I will be doing in the city of Keningau, which is a rural community in Sabah.  I will be working at the Good Samaritan Center providing general education to the children of migrant workers.  These children are often referred to as "stateless" children and are not recognized by the government and can therefore not receive formal schooling. 

I will be living in a large house in the city's center (a 20-30 min. walk from the Good Samaritan Center) with other teachers and their families.

This weekend I will be at my home congregation: Cross of Calvary Lutheran Church in Olivia, MN to share a little about what is in store for my year in YAGM as well as join in conversations with people who are curious about what this year of ministry will look like. 

You can look forward to news about getting my wisdom teeth out, next Thursday morning, bright and early!  I am a bit nervous, but know that I have good roommates who will help look after me for a speedy recovery.

God is so good!

Let's just say that my planning for a year away still seems surreal.  Yesturday a fellow YAGM started a countdown.  Sent chills through my spin!  On that note, I'm still in the basic stages of planning! Today I awoke bright and early to make a trip to the dentist!  After ridding my mouth of some cavities, I look forward to the 28th, the day I will be getting my wisdom teeth out.

Today was my first day off in awhile.  I hoped for a sun filled day at the beach with my roommate, but it appears that God had other plans. I woke up and headed to Detroit Lakes at 11 AM to find it cloudy and windy.  After a nice jog along the lake and lunch at Zorbaz we headed back to Moorhead.
My afternoon was short an uneventful, I had hoped to mail out letters to family and friends to tell them about my future journey, but have no access to a printer. I need to learn how to do better planning. Today I also made my first ever doctor's appointment.

Our day was cut short with news of family medical emergencies.  My roommate Ellen had the best/ worst luck that I can think of.  Her dad went into emergency surgery to have a foot amputated this morning due to an infection. Ellen's parents were supposed to be going on a cruise on the Baltic Sea starting on Friday, but with this surgery, he would be unable to go.  This is where the good news comes in- Ellen leaves in the morning to go on the cruise with her mom!  She will be visiting a lot of countries, all of which she has never been to before.  What a blessing. 

Later today I received news that my grandmother had complications with a surgery from last evening.  I keep my phone on loud waiting for updates from my sister. 

Now, as some of you may know, I have been working at a funeral home in Moorhead since January, and have absolutely loved everything about it. I work in the office and I read all about the lives that individuals have lived. What remarkable stories are told through the life of a person! 

It's the strangest thing.  I had known that in my absence there would be births, weddings, graduations, and even deaths that I would be unable to attend, but I never thought of anything remotely life shattering occurring in the present., in fact I don't know if my schedule can fit in anything else!  With Ellen's dad and my grandma spending time in a hospital room, that idea became a lot more real.

Today the idea of losing a loved allowed for reflection.  Some of the thoughts that ran through my mind first and foremost are memories.  Wonderful memories of spending time with my grandma.  She made the best cookies! In fact we used to call her the cookie grandma.  I used to go to her house and sit with her for hours.  We would sit and talk and watch crime investigation shows. My grandma was addicted to QVC (shopping channels--yikes!).  Now I believe that we all love our grandparents for a million different reasons, but mostly for the love that they give us.  I couldn't imagine a life without them.  But-- situations like this also cause me to wonder.

Why do we have to say goodbye?  Why do people we love leave us?

There are a million different ways to answer this, but I feel that they are questions that many people have.  There are no right of wrong answers I suppose, and those thought processes may take root in another post.  (But I would love to hear your take on it!)

I too am putting myself in the situation of saying goodbye to people that I love as I leave from this place to go to a new part of the world where God is calling me to lead a life of service.  I know that I have to say goodbye because I am following the path that God has laid out for the, the plan and purpose that I have been created for.  I have spent time with friends that I love very dearly and will have to learn how to navigate without them.  Sometimes I worry that I won't be able to make myself laugh or  smile, though I know friends are for more than that.  I know that I will be able to dig a lot deeper in who I am and with how to love myself.  What an adventure!  I am so excited to share with my family and friends all that I learn as I continue on this journey.  What a blessing to have this opportunity! 

Feel free to keep in touch and share in this journey with me

This is my first attempt at a blog and so it may be a little rough around the edges. I graduated from Concordia College a little over a month now with a degree in Elementary Education. I am currently working  full time at a funeral home in the office and part time at Old Lutheran Inc. as I await what comes next. 

In August I will participating in a program called Young Adults in Global Missions through the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.  I am beyond excited to commit to a year of service in Malaysia.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will be forever changed from this experience.  This opportunity has been such a blessing as I have always felt a passion for ministry.

As I go on this adventure, I ask for your prayers.  There will be times when I will struggle, as we all do, but I ask for you to keep me in your hearts.  I would also like to rejoice with you as I go through this journey, as I continue to count my blessings, no matter where I am.

Look for updates on what's happening and I would love to hear what's weighing on your hearts as well!