Sunday after church I sat in a restaurant with friends eating my fried noodles with my skilled chopstick maneuvers. I realized later that I hadn't even taken in the surroundings because I knew people were staring at me, and I just couldn't handle acknowledging it. I remember thinking, "So this is what it's like to be an outsider".
I've never been one to want unnecessary attention, but I have no choice in it here. Naturally my mind shifts to what to make of the situation, and then I remember a favorite quote of mine that always seems to be remembered at a moments when I feel a little lost and small in this great big world.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talent, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening in shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson
Of course I am different, but so is each and every person. I look forward to conversations, relationships, and reflections that will help me to grow and be more confident in the person that I am and the person that I have been created to be. I hope that in due time I will not feel like I do not belong, but that I can identify my purpose and go confidently in the direction of that purpose, loving, enjoying, and embracing each person and situation as they are presented.
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